The purpose of the following list is to initiate discussion on what each
person would expect of themselves and their significant other if a deeper
commitment such as marriage or cohabitation were to occur.
Two important concepts must also be considered prior to becoming
committed:
1. One of the most important things to understand before getting married
or making a commitment to someone is that the problems you have
now will not merely disappear simply because you are married or
decide to make a deeper commitment to each other (such as
cohabitation).
2. Actions speak louder then words. Marriage is not to be considered a
solution for alcoholism, infidelity or any type of abuse. The actions
and habits a person has now will be continued after a marriage or
cohabitation has taken place.
The List
1. Religious Beliefs, Attending Services
2. Money Earning, Saving and Spending Ideals (Who pays for…)
3. Desired Ideal Sexual Relationship
4. Ideally Who is Responsible For Cooking Meals
5. Ideally Who is Responsible for Cleaning (Bathrooms, Laundry,
Garbage, Loading Dishwasher)
6. Who Will Purchase Food and Sundries For the Upcoming Week
7. Political Views
8. Favorite TV Shows, Channels or Movies
9. Least Favorite TV Shows, Channels or Movies
10. Working or Stay at Home Parenting
11. Religious Beliefs/Faith of Children
12. Acceptable Discipline of Children
13. Nutritional Ideals of Children
14. Day to Day Caretaking of Children
15. Expectations of Future Spouse
16. Fidelity, Infidelity
17. Therapy- Individual and Couples
18. Prenuptial Agreements
19. Honesty, What is Considered Dishonesty (Example: Lies of
omission.)
20. Your Strengths as a Couple (Hobbies, Habits and Passions)
21. Geographical Location of “Home”
22. Deal Breakers (A list of what would cause you to potentially end your
marriage.)
23. How Each Person Relaxes After a Long Day
24. What Each Person Needs When They Are Upset
25. What Each Person’s Ideal Life Would Look Like in 5 Years, 10
Years, 25 Years
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